Saturday, September 21, 2013

Put It On My Tab (Add Steve Carell Voice)

Sooo this week has been a little, um, meh.

So I got terribly sick. Woooo strep. Then I got a jaywalking ticket. (This also two weeks after a bad parking ticket).

Let me explain something. I am type-A. I am crazy. I like rules. This means I never cross the street without a crosswalk. I can't do it. Even in my neighborhood, I have to go to the corner and cross the street, stop sign to stop sign. My friends and dog find this irritating, just cross the goddamn street, they say. But I am strong in my convictions. I will use the crosswalk and wait for the little man.

So then yesterday happened. I was late for a meeting. I parked my car. I had to cross the intersection three times - there is no direct path. Long story short, Pasadena changed the the timing of their pedestrian signals. Two seconds before the light changes, the little man comes on. At the time the light changes, little man is replaced with flashing hand for 20 seconds. Cop pulls me over for commencing walking in the crosswalk at the time the red hand flashed twenty seconds.

WTF. I'm contesting it. The statute (yes, I looked it up) says that no pedestrian can commence walking with red hand. That means that if I don't FloJo into the middle of the intersection in the two seconds allotted (god forbid, I'm carrying coffee, a computer bag and wearing heels), then hello jaywalking. Which happens to be $191.

Anyway, then a vase fell on top of my head this morning when I was heating up something in the microwave. Needless to say, I'm annoyed.

So I bring you things that make me less annoyed.

This engagement. So legit.

This version of Stay



This article: You Really Are Just a Booty Call:
Best lines:
"You have a very specific sort of a problem. Your problem is that you're a very attractive woman with an easy-going nature and a great phone for tapping out very long texts. This combination of factors is going to bring you a whole hell of a lot of agony if you're not careful"
And ".... Instead, tell people exactly what you want. Here's my revision to text #1: "Last night was fun. Let's go have dinner on Wednesday. Are you free?" Message received. Outcome in this case? No different. But—bonus!—you don't have to feel like a sea slug on the bottom of the ocean floor over it, because you didn't sound needy or liary or crazy, and you didn't leave the tiniest door open for someone to slide their piece-of-shit Square Peg back into your Round Hole again."


And some new recipes to try. Since I'm never leaving my house again:

Maple Coffee Semifreddo From SF Girl



Pumpkin Cheesecake Martini From A Beautiful Mess


Ricotta, Honey and Provolone Crostini From A Cup of Jo

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