Hello Winter!

To be honest, November was a little rough for me. Amazing trips, food, music, events, and people aside (which overall indicates a great month), emotionally I was a little, um, well tortured. I feel as if I'm on the precipice of some major life choices and changes, which is simultaneously liberating and panic-inducing. But the takeaways from my uncertainty have been that I need to focus on my immediate needs right now and also that I need to stop taking everything so goddamn personally.


That being said, I had a phenomenal Thanksgiving hosted by Mark and Brandon, with delicious food by Jaimie and my mother and Jeff's shenanigans. It was bittersweet without my bro, but he was rocking a marathon in Oregon, so I can't begrudge him too much.

Right now, I'm knee-deep in career improvement and changes (including a possible new writing gig!), preparing for my holiday party (my nesting skills are out of control right now), and doing a SHIT TON of yoga.

I have a couple of posts coming up this week for your pleasure, including a review of Trois Familia (new brunch place in Silverlake), plus some pie recipes (never enough). And if you follow me on instagram, I'm sorry for the influx of #ootd shots, but it's DRESSEMBER. Inspired by my lovely friend, Jackie, I'm only doing dresses this month (and hoping I don't freeze to death).

Muchos Besos -

Amber

Upcoming Pie Recipes!

Day 1 - Dressember

The Rundown

I've just finished my seventh court day in 12 business days, which is about six more than I'm generally used to. Trial on hearing conferences on expedited trials plus depositions, conferences, luncheons, and seminars. This lawyering thing is really impinging on the whole yoga/coffee/hike/puppy cuddle/wine routine I'd been honing.

But I've been learning so much and having a great time in addition to attending at least 2-3 networking events a week - these range from lunches with filmmakers to speed networking (sort of like online dating) to alumni events. Hopefully, all the running around will pay off soon.

In the meantime, I've been challenging myself in cooking, traveling a lot, and keeping up with my writing.

THE RUNDOWN:

Three weekends ago, I hit up Oregon with my mom to visit my brother and dad. Highlights - hot yoga with my brother and a visit to the waterfalls with my mom.

The next weekend, in SF, I was lucky enough to see El Vy at the Independent, plus the regular routine of Four Barrel, Dolores, Zeitgeist and a visit to Mission Cheese (with my loves - Rob, Feliz, Tawsh, Will, Ladi and Christable). A satisfying and well-executed dinner at Aster with Joe was a beautiful way to end the trip. (Actually tho, the McGriddle with Christable in the car on the way to the airport was pretty epic). Also saw Art Garfunkel with the family that weekend.

Last week, aside from lovely dinner with Jaimie and Jeff and Ellie's too fast, but amazing, visit, I also saw Gloria Steinem in conversation with Melissa McCarthy. I do think MM was a bit out of her league, but she was endearing while Steinem was effortlessly cool and inspirational.

This weekend was yoga, wine and oysters with Anthony, chillin with Jeff, bloody Marys and 90s singalong with Lexi (visiting from NYC!), Nathalie and Joanna, and the Farmers Market and Silverlake walking tour with Jaimie. The weekend culminated in an organic farmers market feast for Evan and Michael with pan seared salmon, miso quinoa, quail eggs, ginger/garlic brussels and Szechwan carrots. It was an experimental comfort food meets asian fusion meets healthy sort of.

THE FUTURE:

So what's next? Aside from battling the loud winds at night, I have two court days this week, an opera of Moby Dick, a trip to Santa Barbara, and Thanksgiving/Friendsgiving before I launch into my holiday party planning :)

I'm also in a nesting mood and feeling rather content with everything right now. That isn't to say I'm not going to sign up for that pottery class or that I'll stop networking, but my anxiety has sort of stabilized. The panic about where I'll be in six months has worn off a more centered focus in efforts to get "there."

I've been thinking a lot recently on the topic of self-presentation/preservation. I very often laugh off things or crack jokes to avoid hard conversations. Then after going with the flow for probably too long, I blow a gasket over a misused semi-colon and then boom: World War III. And there are topics that I'm naturally evasive about and if I am caught off guard about them, I shut down (or crack a joke about rainbows or something equally inane). Now I'm skilled in my defense mechanisms, but I think it's time to calm down on that front. I'm far more fun when I'm not dissecting yours and my id, ego, and superego.

Instead, I'll be playing with the interactive meal planner by the NY Times and planning my next trip. xx.

When everything is upside and topsy turvy

Things are settling now, but not in the way I expected. Living in Echo Park, especially with Machiko, is amazing however. Our mornings are full of hiking, smoothies, eggs in a cast iron skillet, psychoanalysis, and foam rolling. Evenings are Farmer's Market inspired spreads with fresh flowers, Evan's sous chef-ness, puppy cuddles and synth pop.

I am happy with that. And I am happy with my job. And I am happy that I have the time and flexibility to focus on being happy, healthy and mindful and being able to focus on side projects.

A lot of this introspection has been brought to the forefront by Starting Bloc, an amazing institute I attended earlier this month. I learned that I oscillate, almost maniacally between being so available to people that I burn out and swing toward isolation and introversion. I'm learning to find more balance and identify which relationships I need to invest in and prioritize.

But before I get too maudlin, I have to say this month has been and will continue to be full of amazing, memorable and life-giving experiences.

Two weeks ago, my mom, bro and I met our family in Vegas for a long over-due reunion. Jas and my cousin Jag are carbon copies of each other - chill, laid-back, sensitive men, while Neen, Karen and I are bombastic nurturers with a penchant for margaritas. And seeing my mom with her sister was beyond amazing and warming and wonderful and inspiring and lovely - as was seeing them at a club with us and watching people twerk. [Also we loved Hakkasan, Julian Serrano, and Mon Ami Gabi - thanks friends for the recs].

Machiko, Cassi and I also hosted our first D12 at the new apartment, which went well with homemade bruschetta and hummus; pasta salad with fireroasted peppers, kalamata olives, tomatoes and cucumbers; kale salad with cara cara oranges, feta and avocado; and rosemary, garlic, lemon chicken.

After, I was reunited with my O-Staff loves, some of whom I hadn't seen in four or five years. They are still my family and put up with so much from me, including abbrevs, dog obsessions, coaching me through my first years of college and being my support system through my toughest times. I am overwhelmed by the gratitude and love I felt for them on Saturday and I hope I see them all sooner rather than later.


I also got to see Larissa and her adorable Princess P. Larissa was my sounding board for a lot this weekend and helped me really focus in on my next steps for this year. It also helps that she is the funniest and warmest person like ever.

Other things to look forward to:
Birthday celebrations!
Sara B is visiting me this weekend!
Mammoth!
More Vegas!
Sylvan Esso and Jose Gonzalez shows!
(And cuddling Sophie at the end of each and every day)

 Also some inspiring words that have been helping me focus on bettering myself, especially re: interpersonal relationships:

- I cannot give you power, I can only give you the space to assumer your own power.

- "Doing what one wants to do because one wants to do it is hard for a lot of people, but I think it’s particularly hard for women. We are, after all, the gender onto which a giant Here To Serve button has been eternally pinned. We’re expected to nurture and give by the very virtue of our femaleness, to consider other people’s feelings and needs before our own. I’m not opposed to those traits. The people I most admire are in fact nurturing and generous and considerate. Certainly, an ethical and evolved life entails a whole lot of doing things one doesn’t particularly want to do and not doing things one very much does, regardless of gender.

But an ethical and evolved life also entails telling the truth about oneself and living out that truth." Cheryl Strayd, Dear Sugar columnist

- "Courage is the price that life extracts for granting peace." Amelia Earhart

- Choose joy.

Hiatus Over + A Beet Salad

Since I know you all have been waiting with bated breath for a post, I supposed I owe some explanation for my absence. I was having fun + sorting stuff out + centering myself.

That meant gallivanting up the coast for dog beach days and picnics in Santa Cruz, coffee in the mission, beer in Dolores, GoT marathons and cover letters plus vegan dinner parties, flower shopping, and Instagram stalking.

But things have calmed down and although I don't think I'm that much closer to a zen state, I have figured out some things that have made anxiety attacks less likely, insomnia less frequent and my general demeanor far happier.

1) More phone calls with the people I love. Grant brought this to my attention bc he is a phone talker and I am a texter. Our communication style constantly clashes but I have been making a concerted effort to pick up calls when I can and hearing my friends' voices releases serotonin in a volume I didn't know was possible.

2) Detox baths. Baths are always nice and I haven't taken advantage of the glorious claw foot tub in my new house as much as I should have.

The method:
a) Run the bath with hot water: I throw in some combination of epsom salts, baking soda and/or hydrogen peroxide plus my favorite essential oils (lavender and rose at the moment).
b) Dry brush as the bath is going: take a clean, dry body brush and scrub in a circular motion all over your body, starting at your legs and moving up. This increases circulation, stimulates the lymphatic system (waste removal via blood cells), improves digestions, exfoliates, etc.
c) Jump in the bath. Soaking in there for 30 minutes with a face mask on with a glass of wine, low lights and some musica. Done and done.
d) Finish up with a rub down of coconut oil.
I never sleep as well as I do after one of these. I have been doing one a week and I wake up feeling relaxed, which like almost never happens.


3) Morning routines: I have written about this before that when work got bad, I didn't do any of my morning routines - coffee, blogging, hiking and I was suffering from anxiety. Now I have set aside a good 1.5-2 hours, even if it means waking up earlier than my normal 6:30am "call time" aka Sophie. I'll reserve another blog post for this, but it means oil pulling with coconut oil, salt water rinse, lemon water, a hike, blogging, and Sophie cuddling with a little yoga/stretching if I can squeeze it in plus more time for meal prepping, which means juicing and more whole foods - which brings me to my next thing...

4) Better eating: I love cooking. (That was my profound statement of the day.) However, the caveat is that I only realllly enjoy it when I have a house of full of hungry people and there's cheese. Bad news bears. After talking with my brother (and by talking I mean heated debates) about GMOs, organic, locally sourced, whole foods, I have realized something. I really only treat my body well with good food about 50% of the time. That means good breakfasts and good meals when I am at home. But if I'm at school or work, then that Taco Bell quesadilla or those happy hour chicken wings are really rockin my socks. This sort of end of the day/mid-afternoon slump really effs up my system. So I've gotten in the habit of making bigger summer salads (i.e. broccoli slaw) and making sure I have juice, salad, fruit, etc around to stave off desperate vending machine scavenging (let's ignore the Twix bar from yesterday - it was Evan's fault).

So on to  my newest concoction: Roasted beet and chickpea salad with blue cheese. I originally thought up as part of a larger spring meal coupled with a baked salmon filet and roasted asparagus as part of a submission to my friend James' magazine. But due to unforeseen circumstances, I was not able to execute the meal, but last night decided to whip this up and see how it went. The results: Pretty effing delicious. However, I want to add some herbage, but I'm not sure what would work... mint? parsley? lemon thyme? I'm open to suggestions :)

Roasted beet and chickpea salad with blue cheese recipe:

• Two roasted beets (scrub clean, cover in olive oil, roast until soft); chopped into bite size pieces
• One can chickpeas, rinsed and drained (make sure to rinse)
• A couple of handfuls of good blue cheese/gorganzola 
• Dressing: honey (w/ the blue cheese -> heaven), balsamic, olive oil, pink salt and pepper)

Mix that shit up. Eat. Boom.

Confusion.

Last week was a bit stressful for me. Not in a stressful deadline-y kind of way, but in "a lots of stuff going on and full social life, not enough sleep, one beer too many, and no exercise" kind of way. Champagne problems I know. That and the massive amount of work I managed to eek out from my fried brain and aching fingertips was rather impressive... until Friday hit. I was told about a new case at work that hopefully I will be working on. However, the details and evidence that I went through on Friday was particularly brutal and horrifying. To the point that I cancelled all plans and hid out at Jacy's, enjoying Lagunitas, Dominos (with In n Out spread???), and bridal TV shows. Mind you, I've been limiting my dairy, gluten and alcohol intake to one day a week, so my body almost revolted in displeasure. A great night though.

Saturday was similar. After a walk with Soph and coffee with Annie, I drove down to the OC to hole up on my mom's couch and watch reruns of television. I didn't want to think, read, think, etc. I just lazed about like a slug and appreciated the privileged life I live. Which meant by Sunday, I needed action. I drove back to the Fig House - started laundry, cleaned my room, went on a hike with Jenaba, and then volunteered with my friend Kelsey at Artisanal LA.

Kelsey is working for a television network that just launched by Participant Media (i.e. Food Inc), called Pivot. It features edgy material aimed at millennials and is available through most cable providers. Super cool stuff.

Anyway, Artisanal LA was amazing. We only had time to peruse one of the floors, which had everything from coffee (i.e. Handsome and Coava) to coconut bacon to vegan chocolates to Japanese beef demonstrations and hemp tshirts. I loved it and would have spent far too much money if I hadn't been volunteering.


Kelsey and I then caught up at Mohawk Bend. Whenever I see her, I am just so in awe of how vibrant and ambitious she is. Such an inspiration.


Afterward, I finished those pesky weekend chores and snuggled Sophie till she bit me. (She had a spa day at Soak with Lennie and Jenaba and came back quite perturbed with how wonderful she smelled and the shortness of her paw-nails.)

I also watched AHS: Coven. Loved some of the historical throwbacks, the New Orleans/voodoo stuff and of course, the Salem folklore. But as a history buff, especially on the Salem trials, I'm a little nervous about their rendering. Also, Emma Roberts kind of annoys me. Kathy Bates though is superb (duh) and I can't wait to see what she does with the show.

So now to the confusion bit. I think my body is confused with what its doing. I've been feeling fatigued in the mornings, which is generally NOT me. I bounce out of bed like a groundhog. (Someone once described me like that.) This is despite limiting my coffee intake to one drink a day and also staying away from gluten and dairy and heavy meals after 6pm. The one thing could be my sleeping pattern was terrible last week and I wasn't exercising as much I generally do. Plus, the Dominos could still be in my system (damn you cheesy breadsticks!).

Thus, this week I am focusing on regular sleeping hours and exercising.. Despite seeing Gravity tonight, maybe the Peach Kings tomorrow. And I'm working on sticking to the gluten-free vegan stuff this week.


Today, I had vanilla quinoa porridge (not a looker, but great taste) and then a vegan chicken wrap. Go me. I'm perfecting my quinoa recipe, but I'll post it once I like it ;)


Okay, back to work.

Ciao.

Leiden and Amsterdam

I spent last week with the lovely Giulia in the Netherlands for a training on international advocacy in Leiden, which is the sweetest little college town. The training was interesting with such a diverse crowd of interesting and passionate activists. One of my favorite parts was a "field trip" the Special Tribunal of Lebanon and hearing about the impending trial. Giulia and I spent a lot of time wandering the town for coffee and hot chocolate and beers.

Yeats on the wall

On Thursday night, we headed to Amsterdam and stayed at the Hans Brinker Hostel. For the most part it was pleasant, with a large cafeteria/bar area and courtyard and free wifi. There was a great cafe, Stach, just around the corner and The Dolphins just down the block! On Thursday night, Giulia and I had drink with our new friend Anna at Cafe de Pijp until the wee hours (we crashed her blind date). Giulia and I were walking back saying that the young people in our room would most certainly be partying until 5am and come in and wake us up. But when we got home at around 2am, they were all fast asleep and I felt young again lol :)

Oh the hostel life

On Friday, we hit up a demonstration for the rights of indigenous peoples, facilitated by Survival (for the Tribal Peoples) and attended by reps from Amnesty International and UNPO, etc. It was amazing to see different cultural practices from around the world, including dancing, praying and singing, from, for instance, West Papua.

After that, we hung out with our UNPO friends, Rehma and Adar, for a bit before meeting Elisa at Hannekes Boom for drinks and nachos. I was so happy to see her again! And that place was absolutely amazing - right on the river and full of hipsters = lovelovelove

On Saturday, Giulia and I wandered around for a bit and then took the train home. I was greeted by Almaz and Matheus. We had figs and watched The Boat that Rocked. A very good evening with very good people.

In Antwerp for a minute for a connection - beautiful rail station

Summer Evenings in Brussels

The sun doesn't set until 10pm in Brussels, which means I feel like I can stay up all night. Until I do. Then I feel like death. However, work has been less strenuous so whatevssss. On Sunday, we did wine in Almaz's beautiful garden and then grabbed pizza.

Monday, we met Matheus' friend and Almaz at a market in Saint Gilles by Hotel De Ville and had hot dogs and wine. After, we had an impromptu dance party at the apt (gotta love the Spice Girls).

Last night, we had drinks with Darren, another Yankee, before he heads back to Michigan at the Athenee Square near Stam, the bar from Saturday.

Today, after a very long brainstorming meeting, I am looking forward to hanging with Alex Budak, a fellow UCLA orientation counselor. GO BRUINS!

xx

Back and Overwhelmed

Sitting on my couch for a few days was a welcome reprieve. But I didn't do much of anything and now I'm paying for it. Time to go cray on school and work and my future and working out and keeping my sanity. Plus Mammoth, Santa Cruz, SF, wine tasting, MPRE, outlining, concerts, cite checks, take-homes, interviews, blahhhhhhhhhhhh

Went to Sound for a private party last night - grey goosin' it (in a very tame way) was super fun with my girls. However, Sunday night is not my night to go out. Ethical lawyering on three hours of sleep is a challenge.

xx

Late Night Chinese + Other Things

My day was overwhelming although I didn't do much. Just sort of one of those days where a lot of things are happening and you're waiting for something and then you're just in bed watching Law and Order and thinking about where the hours went?

Well actually, I had class and then had a lovely lunch of a Wurstkuche Austin Blues sausage, followed by a delish maple custard pie at Pie Hole with my friend, Ellie.  I argued that we should split a piece but I'm happy we didn't bc we both inhaled our pieces like madwomen. Ellie had the vegetarian chipotle dog and the Earl Grey pie. It was great to catch up with Ellie. I miss summer when I used to see her everyday. Now both of our schedules are cray and we're trying to manage seeing each other once a week.

Earl Grey Pie

Ellie taking a photo of a dumpster

After that, I took Sophs to Elysian Park and we ran into her love, Freddy. Doing that walk everyday has been saving my soul. (I'm just mildly dramatic.) I ran to crim pro and then rushed home for a phone interview that lasted a surprisingly long time, especially when I felt like my stomach was eating my lung.

Sophie was ready for her hike

Jenaba, my savior/housemate, and I headed to Chinatown and tried to go to Wang Chow on Broadway, which was closed. So we hit up a place two establishments south of that and gorged on tangerine chicken, lo mein, duck soup, wontons, etc. So yum. I fell into bed and watched, you guessed it - Law and Order: SVU. It was as great day.

Orange chicken, which I later inhaled this morning, cold and delicious

Pork Lo Mein

I don't get it.

Food Coma + Filters

Today will be slightly different - I have a ton of work to finish and a film screening for school to attend. I also need to take Sophie on an extra long adventure today because I'll be gone longer and I want to sufficiently wear her out.

Off to my day but here's a video I've been sending to everyone. LOL.

Exciting Things Afoot

Sophie (right) and her BF, Freddy, who I've been puppysitting

Well, update #1 is about my cleanse. I think I've kept to it about 80% of the time. I haven't had any coffee, no dairy, no red meat, no soy, and no gluten - except for my splurge night. My one major fail: I've had two glasses of wine over the last ten days.

However, two days ago, I wanted to take my brother to Tommy's Burgers and we splurged on chili cheese burgers with chipotle cheddar and sliced chilis. UM SO GOOD. Also I had root beer. So a few thoughts on this. One of these things makes me want to throw up. I'm not sure if its the meat, the gluten, or the dairy. I guess a chili cheese burger wasn't the best combination to test out my cleanse thing. Despite the scrumptiousness and the fact I only had half a burger, it was really rich and I woke up the next morning feeling nauseous and sluggish. I also had a root beer - no caffeine, but a ton of sugar. My jeopardy performance was phenomenal.

However, I'm back on the cleanse now and I feel really good about it. I think I'm going to try to apply it to whatever food I make at home. That way at least 60% my meals are balanced and healthy and I can keep my energy stable.

Okay - more interesting things:

1) My Santa Cruz boys: Grant is moving home and I can't wait. Max is coming to visit over MLK weekend - like omgmycupcakewillbehere! and Jas and I are still planning a visit up to SF this month to visit my honeybun Rob.

2) I've booked a wine tasting weekend in the Central Coast for my mom, my aunt and me. So excited!

3) Planning a trip to Japan and maybe one (or two) to NYC.

4) I ended my unpaid internship at the LACA. It was a phenomenal experience and I love everyone there. But it had been six months and I have a few other opportunities I need to focus on, so it was time to bid them adieu. I learned so much and I'm so grateful for that experience.

5) I've been hiking/running with the Sophs everyday and next week, I add in my regular yoga classes, which haven't been regular in ages. WOOOOO!

6) Thinking about new volunteer opps and also expanding this lil blog :-)

7) I'm hosting my own Dinners for 12 Strangers with my friend Anthony! I loved D12 at UCLA and I'm so excited I get to facilitate a social/networking experience for students, alumni and faculty. It's one of the many unique things that SAA offers Bruins. :-)

okay thats all I got so far... off to buy books and make lists. xoxo

I don't know how to relax...

So I finished finals last Thursday. Partied that night. Did random stuff Friday, including interacting with Magic Johnson while eating cheese, walking around the beach, and meeting the new director of the LSE in Bel-Air. It was a weird day. Saturday and Sunday, I forced myself to relax, but by Monday I was in dire need of human interaction and was rather cranky. Thank god, on Tuesday, Evan dropped by downtown Fully for drinks at the Pint House, a tour of my high school (riveting), and then apple pie at Rutas - the best ever in the universe, so delish. My brother and I then made dinner (juice for me, orange chicken for him,) and watched Twilight: Breaking Dawn. That movie is even worse than I expected. Jesus.

Today, I met Aimee for tea at Tranquil Tea and split the lavender scone. I gymmed it up, then watered the garden. My mom is coming back from vacay tomorrow, but I have to do some stuff in LA, so this afternoon's agenda is mostly cleaning and polishing up the house for her and reading through my law review materials. I'm afraid I've been a handful for my family the last few days - I'm a bit anxious about grades and starting work: more scared of the former, more excited for the latter = crazy beeze. Aimee and I are gonna kick it more while she's in town, probs a joint study/work sesh; brunch with Veronica on Saturday; hopefully, the beach.

Also, I want to make my mom a lavender blueberry pie. Yummmmmm :-)