*** Post writing note: I didn't mean for this to be so long, but it was extremely cathartic for me and makes me realize I am a creature of habit. In addition, I am extremely grateful for this experience and the privilege of doing law school, taking and passing the bar exam. Some of this is luck, but most of it is due to the great support from the people around me, especially my mom. Also, all these things worked for me, but only because I knew they did. When prepping for any exam, just do what works for you, if it means cramming for 23 hours a day or reading upside down or whatever)***
Truth be told, my bar study process was an experimental one. It wasn't experimental personally, since I had adhered to the same philosophy for all my undergraduate and graduate exams, but it was pretty unlike most of the advice I had received about prepping from the bar.
So many people told me that I'd literally have to give up fun, constantly study, not have a day off. One woman said she remembers only going out one night in the three to four months prior to the bar - to a move. Others swore off alcohol, had to give up exercise to make more time, and lost a ton of sleep during the whole thing.
To be honest, for the most part my bar study (via
Barbri) was pretty relaxed. Okay, maybe not the first week. The first week with the five billion bar prep books and the lectures and driving in traffic to the lectures and the sudden spurts of insomnia and panic was driving me crazy. (Despite my initial panic, I highly recommend Barbri - so many great materials and online options). Four days in and I already had a good cry session with my less than sympathetic mother.
After that first week, I figured out how I wanted to proceed in the study process and keep my sanity. Most of it involved cuddling Sophie. And either it was going to work or not, but at least, I wouldn't lose all hope in the world.
1. I didn't attend the lectures in person at school. Several reasons accounted for this. The stupid amount of traffic (up to 45 minutes) to get there, the lack of participation allowed in class - it was ALL lecture based, and the resulting panic from all law students in a five mile radius about how many MBE questions they did and the number of points they got on the essay. It drove up my anxiety before I even left my house. Executive veto. Instead, I listened to/watched them on my patio at 1.5-2 speed. I found them helpful, even if they were boring, so I definitely recommend watching all of them (except maybe the eight hour review for the practice full MBEs - so repetitive).
2. I didn't change my routine. My former supervising attorney gave me this advice. Keep doing what I do that makes me me. That means I went hiking every morning with Sophie before studying, I drank the same amount of coffee (except for maybe an additional afternoon pick me up), and I enjoyed a cold beer or two in the evening after the meal I cooked for myself. And even though it sounds ridiculous, I showered (mostly everyday), got dressed and put on mascara. It prepped me for the day. Only in the last week or so, Evan, Christable and I started eating out/getting prepared meals so we could spend more time reviewing.
3. I did every MC question. I did every single MBE question in the Barbri prep. Multiple choice has always been iffy for me. Even though I was scoring at the goal (and sometimes above), I wanted to quell my anxiety about doing multiple choice questions. The two weeks before the test, Christable and I first did 50 additional questions a day, then 100, then 200 (just three times), just so that going through those questions felt as routine and boring as breathing. We went over them all, reviewed our incorrect answers with one another and tracked the questions we tended to get wrong. By the end, I knew the ones I tended to spend too much time on or ones that I could cut my losses on and the ones that were my strongest.
4. I did or skimmed every essay. I have to thank Loyola for prepping me well for the essay portion of the exam. All of our exams have been closed book and timed and heavy on the essays. Most of the time, my biggest issue was breaking up the essay to make it easy for the grader to see all my definitions, rule statements, and factual analysis. I skimmed all the essays to make sure that I could peg as many issues as quickly as I could for all the different topics. Then when I was hit with community property essay, I could think back through my list and make sure I got as many as possible.
5. DON'T BURN OUT = The two to three hour rule. I have never been one to study for eight hours or more hours straight. It sounds like torture. When I first started studying, my goal was to build my focus for two to three hours straight. But for the first month, I told myself that the minute studying became unfun, I got a headache, I got restless legs or whatever, I was allowed to take a break, whether it was five minutes on Pinterest, making a smoothie, or cuddling Sophie until she whined at me. I did this because I knew I COULD NOT BURN OUT. Studying had to be enjoyable as possible for as long possible and it was.
6. I had my social life. I mean not like I generally have it, but mostly. I went on my daily hikes with my friends. My dinner parties continued and even increased, even if I had to call it a night earlier. Every time I had a panic moment, I went home and harassed my mom. I tried not to miss birthdays or other celebrations, even if it meant I just dropped by for a few minutes to give hugs.
7. Chilling out. I got Sundays off (at the very least) and overall, I took an addition five days off over the course of the three months for personal days. These days were either social things (i.e. bridal showers) or sick days (stupid summer hay fever) or personal matters (like I just didn't want to do it.)
8. So what's the bottom line? TREAT BAR STUDY LIKE A JOB. Here was my schedule (which I followed generally):
6:30am: Wake up and take Sophie hiking
8:00am: shower, make breakfast (generally a smoothie with almond milk, almond butter, organic fruit, maca, chia seeds, and juice OR eggs and toast and soyrizo), make coffee, get dressed, feed sophie, set up my study area - either at my desk or the living room couch.
9am-12pm: when I listened to lectures, I'd watch the video at 1.5-2x the speed and take notes. If i had time before noon, I'd do multiple choice questions or outline an essay. After the lectures were done, I would do three hours of MC or essays.
12pm-2pm: Eat lunch, walk Sophie, read blogs and work out and sometimes squeeze in a 20 min cat nap. I did yoga videos or Tone It Up routines just to get some of that excess energy out.
2pm-6pm: Practice exam conditions with some coffee. I would do 1.5-2 hour chunks of work at home or at a cafe (sometimes Evan would join me) and leave time to go over every question or point I missed. I kept a word doc of principles/questions that I missed and would quiz Evan and Christable over them, so I would remember them. They would do the same to me. I made sure to take a ten minute break whenever I needed to stare at a wall, sip a latte or go pay for parking.
6pm and on: I would run whatever errands I needed to do, call my mom, prep dinner for whoever was over (Evan, C, roommates, my bro); we generally ate leisurely and would watch a movie or tv show (Law and Order, OITNB). Sometimes we might hit up a happy hour or Soph and I would go on a sunset walk around the res. Whatever it was, I was chillin.
11pm: Sleep like a rock.
9. Other general things that worked in my favor:
a) Eating for you. I'm generally a mindful eater, but in the mornings and for lunch, I tried to eat lightly. No fried or heavy foods. I took a B12 and maca supplement in addition to my normal vitamin. I loved smoothies, focused on salads, light sandwiches and such. I always kept flavored water on hand (lemon and cucumber) and didn't have more than four cups of coffee a day. I also kept nori, baby carrots, apples, raw almonds, and grapes around. That being said, I craved comfort food bc like hello, this was effing stressful. At night, I didn't mind making pasta dishes, tacos, barbecuing (i.e. ribs), baking cookies or whatever. Sometimes I didn't even eat that much, but it was therapeutic to do something successful when you had only gotten four questions out of 5 billion correct that day. ALSO WORD FROM THE WISE: NEVER study with me unless I am fed. I will kill you.
b) Keeping clean and organized. It was really important to keep my thoughts and study space clean. I always made my bed in the morning, did all the dishes before I started studying/took the trash out/wiped down the stove, kept word docs with questions, issues, concerns, etc. I also spent a few minutes in the morning dealing with any important communication or emails and only answered my phone during off hours.
c) Me-time. Aside from my morning hikes with people, I didn't make myself available to anyone and didn't want to be bothered with stuff. Which meant sometimes I blew up or got cranky. Sometimes at home, my mom would say something and I would just flip out, like over stupid things, like turning on a light. Thank god she was understanding, but I realized I couldn't feel guilty or mull over it. I had to manage my anxiety, realize when I was nervous, I might just have to chill at home and just pray people understood. I also took a ton of baths with scented candles, soft towels, hair masks, wine and Bon Iver. It was an hour or so a week where no one bothered me and it totally chilled me out.
d) Surrounding myself with the right people at the right places. I studied with Evan and C everyday only once I got to the point where I was generally confident in my test-taking abilities. Any time before that, and I think it could have been damaging to my confidence. Other than that, I didn't see or hang out with any law people unless there was an event, or they were successful lawyers who were totally over the trauma of the bar. Ian, Katie, and Rahia were amazing during this time with tips and hits and calming words. I was really grateful for their support. My "normal" friends and of course my family were a welcome distraction, especially bc they were so sure of my skills and success, even when I was not. I stayed away from people who are generally negative or who might be too emotionally draining for me, even if they didn't mean to. Of course, I tried to be there for ones who were going through something big, but ignored the everyday drama.
As far as places, I was lucky to have my own space to study and when I needed a break, Evan's apt, Stories Cafe, and the Silverlake Library were air-conditioned, quiet, and clean.
e) Stay at a hotel and spend all the money on food. The days of the bar, C and I stayed at the Hilton (to avoid traffic, parking, everything) and ate every meal out and got wine and beer with dinner. And it was great. It was a relaxing end to the day. I refused to study or look at notes during the bar exam days because I felt that at that point, it was more about skill and not memory. Since I only wanted to do this once, I made sure I was as comfortable as possible - yoga pants, sports bra, sweatshirt and expensive lattes in the morning. Also, C, Evan and I just generally ate those meals by ourselves (i.e. sushi, hot dogs, tacos, pizza) and didn't talk about the exam much, because we were too exhausted and over it.
f) CALL MOM ALL THE TIME. Literally, her sense of humor got me through every day. She has to love me, has to talk to me, and has to listen to me wail about the injustices of con law multiple choice questions. I'd call her on my way back from my hike (I was always more zen), before lunch to cry and before dinner to apologize for the pre-lunch call. She made food for me on the weekends and even came up a few times to take me out to dinner when I was on the brink of psychosis.
g) GET A PUPPY. My brother said the truest thing I have ever said was that I'd have to be medicated without Sophie. In addition, I would have failed without her. She got me up in the mornings for our hikes, laid next to me wherever I was studying and let me snuggle the shit out of her when I was stressed. She ensured a routine, made me feel less lonely without being obtrusive, and kept me active. She should be getting sworn in with me. I swear.
Post exam, I felt oddly confident. Not that I had passed, but that I had done my best and felt as prepared as I could have been. The exam was exactly what I expected, although I had underestimate the sheer exhaustion I would feel. However, as the days passed, the more anxious I became (along with insomnia - ugh), but I kept reminding myself, I couldn't have done more without completely changing who I am. It was out of my control and I was proud of the work I had done.
Finally, I want to thank Christable and Evan for being my study-buddies, my housemates, my family, the barista at Stories, the bartenders the Herm, Barbri, my former supervisors, and everyone else who instilled the confidence in me to go through this process. THANK YOU!
For the occasion, I made a Kale-Garbanzo soup because we've all been fighting off colds and allergies and flus and such. Truth be told, I am always underwhelmed by the idea of soup. Ramen, curry, pho are different. Those are life-giving. Your regular old cup of minestrone doesn't really appeal to me ever. However, this is silly. Because when I have made soup at home, i.e. asparagus soup or chicken tortilla, it's always been comforting and life-giving and warming and delicious.
